Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Curse of the Black Thumb

Because admitting it is the first step, I admit I have a black thumb. I have for years convinced myself that it is something I could overcome. I could become a green thumb if I just read garden books and let the death of my plants teach me what I did wrong so I could avoid the same with the next batch of plants . . . and the next . . . and the next and so on. Nothing I've done in my adult life has transformed me into a green thumb. This is even more shameful because my mother and my grandmother could grow ANYTHING. My grandmother could practically grow flowers from recycled tires. I'm glad she's gone on to the Lord and can't see the death and destruction I've wreaked in the backyard. (Please don't take that the wrong way. I'm not 'glad' she's dead - I'm just making a point about the difference between our thumbs.)

Two years ago we moved to a brand new house and the yard was a blank canvas. Knowing that I needed someone who was a professional thumb, we hired a landscaper. I asked him to plant things that required very little care and to instruct me on their care. We went to a majority Xeriscape because that's supposed to be ideal for someone like me. But Nooo. A year and a half ago we lost 7 trees and this Spring we replaced them. As I was looking at replacement trees I asked the nursery expert about ease of care. So I picked the easiest trees. Since then I've had to replace 4 of those and they aren't looking too good. Thank goodness the nursery has a 1-year warranty. I've faithfully followed the care directions, yet I'm still losing them. Oh, and by the way, I had to buy over 30 new plants several of which I need to replace already. Now I have to hire a tree professional to save my trees.

So now you know my sad plight. If only there was a 12-step program for me. We should have poured concrete over the whole yard.

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